Back in The Game

Well I'm back.. In the sense that I have finally found a topic to write about that is not a dithering tale of boredom and doom...I have found that that past year I tended to babble about the inconequential s of my life and really...do you care to read that every.... single..... day??? I don't, so I figure either do you.

Anyway, moving on. In trying to find a new topic I had to spend these past 5 weeks ( I KNOW!! it's been that long :o) searching for said topic and honestly that's when I became so overtly aware of just how boring I really am. Or at least on paper...computer screen. In the beginning I was writing verbatim so about my days and anything really that popped into my head. I'm going to try and do it again...I think. We'll see how it goes. I've become scatter brained lately so I may become sidetracked and lose the theme and get lost somewhere, I may require help and a kick in the ass too.

Moving on.....So I made a tiny New Years Resolution to myself this year without advertising to Neil or well anyone for that matter. I have struggled with my weight since I was in my early teens and being so overtly blessed with the breasts when I hit puberty ( I became a 48GG if you really want to know) being overweight was just fine by me. It helped cover the fact that I carried around these ginormous watermellons on my chest everyday. I was teased by the boys for the obvious reasons and I'm sure alot of the girls were envious of me (though really if they would have had asked I would have happily traded them for their Itty Bitty Titties). The joke in our house was that alot of the girls in school belonged to the IBTC or Itty Bitty Titty Club, as a way to make the teasing alot easier to handle, and I think a way to make bra shopping easier as well.

 Ah, bra shopping the single most horrid experience in my teenage years. Every time my mom noticed my bra straps or asked how they were fitting I dreaded it. It usually meant hours in the granny section of the Sears store trying on bras that usually didn't fit. At that time there wasn't as many options for pretty bras for me. So I had the granny bra with the ugly straps. They fit but hey they sucked. Oh it's not to say I didn't have pretty ones, they just didn't fit right and hurt like a bitch to wear.

Fast forward through junior and high school to 2000 or so. I finally got up the nerve to ask my family GP to send me for a referral to a plastic surgeon for a consult on a reduction. I think it was one of the most nerve wracking experiencs to walk in and have some wierdo doc stare so openly at my breasts ( and they took before and after shots too!!!) with my mom standing behind him looking very concerned and uncomfortable. It took me almost a year to decide to have it done and on May 2001 I finally went in. I came out as a C...a "C" I couldn't believe it. but then it seemed everything else seemed out of proportion.

So I worked on it and lost the 45lbs hanging around before my wedding in 2003. The years passed and 3 kids later here we are, talking about my missing breasts and the extra weight that came with the 3 kids. So on New Years this year I quietly in my head made the promise to myself to try and lose the weight I have lovingly gained to "nourish" my children.

Now I have no plan really other than the fact that I meal plan and we follow a low sodium diet when Neil is reffing. Other than that I have cut out alcohol and refined sugars...to a point I have my limits!!! Chocolate is a must at times :p I'm hoping that by sheer will power and exercise I can shed the extra 50ish or so that has snuk up on me over the past 6 years. I'm not one to badger myself but I have alot of clothing that really is being wasted underneath my bed that won't fit until I lose at least 10 pounds by this summer. So step one is admitting to the problem, step 2 is taking action to fixing it...onto step 3 which is putting said plan into action.

Tomorrows meal is in the works. Chicken Primavera and a salad. It's at times like this I really wish I could eat fruit!! I hope this is my new start in many ways this year. A little late but it's one step in the right direction....at least it seems like it :p