Is It Just Bad Luck?

I don't know quite how we manage it but again we have plunked our kids into a...dare I say SHITTY!! dayhome. It has been months of searching, tirals and again heartache and added stress that I really don't need right now.

We thought that when we hired our nanny in January that we had succeeded in finding someone long term that had the same ideals Neil and I have. Nope, she quit by text message 2 weeks after staring and timed it so we had to fork over the full amount. Then we scrambled (I say we but it was Neil) and found the one we are in now and she is terrible. She has 8 kids in her care including mine and is swamped. She has thus far put all 8 kids into a mini van and drove them over town without car seats, and most of them are under the age of 4. And this has happened at least 5 times in a month and a bit. Then the other day Natahneil bit one of the smaller boys through his pants in his genitals. Now if it had been Ryan we owuldn't have been too surprised at the reaction (biting that is), Nathaniel not so much. It raised red flags for me ( I was there when he did it). It took me 4 hours to get the full reason out of him and it was really me having Neil do it.

Turns out he hates the day home, has no one to play with and the kids are "mean" to him. I'm not sure about the mean part, from a 5 year old "mean" can mean anything.  So the story went that he was playing in one of those pop tents and was told to get out. My sissy boy didn't take that well and frumped a bit. that's fine. Then he asked one of the little boys to play with him and they said no, he bit him. Not normal.

So now I have this huge issue of finding someone that we can trust with our kids. This gal is already non compliant with Leigha, doesn't feed her meals at all. Isn't giving Leigha and Ryan breakfast which is part of the agreement, is going through diapers let and right, and way over using the Pediasure and thickener, I really don't think she gets how freeking expensive it is. We aren't covered for it. 

So what do I do? continue to interview people and have the same thing happen? We were offered a spot (three really) back at the place we had the boys in a few years ago, I really like her but don't know if she's changed in the past few years. and the other one we have is very inflexible.

I now get why mom's stay home for the first 5 years.

Is It Legal To Drug Your Kids Like This

Not that I did it but I did get a good chuckle out of seeing Leigha stoned out of her tree. I was truly thankful that she was not in any amount of pain once they wheeled her out of surgery last week. My biggest fear was that she would be incredibly uncomfortable and that we would end up being sent home and have to deal with pain management somehow here at home.  I am sure that no amount of Motrin or Tylenol could give any comforting effect after having your abdomen ripped open and then stapled back together again.

These were taken just after she had arrived onto the unit. She was settled in to the ISO unit, basically a ward style unit of 4 beds with kids all needing higher nursing care. We lucked out on day one having 2 older kids and one little guy with a trach. It was very quiet and we all managed to get a bit of sleep despite the whole crappy rocking chair for a bed thing.

I could not resist, the terrible mother that I am, and not take pictures of her in her stoned state of affairs. Once the nurses got her settled and I was no longer able to stay away I was at her side in about a blink and duck taped to her side for the remainder of the six days she was there, well not quite Neil came and stayed one night so I could go home and sleep apparently I began to talk nonsense so they sent me home where I crashed and slept 14 hours straight. I remember having a conversation with the secretary at Nathaniels school. she called at some horrid time because Nathaniel had not shown up for class like I had said he would (my MIL did not want to get up early to drive him over, she was tired and figured it was only Kindergarten and he was not going to miss much), I reached for the phone in reflex and only when it dawned on my who I was talking to did I clue in...our conversation went alot like this:

M: Hello,

S (being secretary :p): Hi, this is J calling ffrom Pope John Paul the 23rd calling in regards to your son Nathaniel...

M: Yes......what about him..

S: he is not in class today we are wondering if you are running late or if he is not coming today.

M: (now here is where I get really brilliant in the mornimg): but its only Thursday and I said he was not going to be back until Friday..

S: it is Friday..

M: No it isn t

S: Yes its Friday Novemebr 20th

M: No!! its only the 17th (see how smart I am after 3 days of no sleep I cant even remember what day of the week it is let alone what the date is).

S: ( with questioning voice) Ummm, no its the 20th today, so does that mean that Nathaniel wont be in class today

M: Well... if he isnt there by now I wouldn t expect him. I dont have him here with me, he is over at his grandparents, and if they haven t shown up with him by now then they aren t planning on it. He will be back on Monday for sure.

S: (now very confused) oh kay...

M: Nathaniels sister had surgery on Tuesday and that has kind of turned our house upside down, things should be back to normal by Monday.. thanks for calling

And then I very nicely hung up the phone and fell back asleep for another 3 hours :p

So after spending the requisite 5 days in hospital that we had been told about in our consult I was a bit perterbed when our surgeon came in on Sunday morning and annouced that we had to stay in one more day. And that would be the whole Morphine and feeding tube schedule debacle.

So that brings us to our discharge on Monday. Once I finally managed to get the pump for the tube feed, which only took 4 hours unlike last time that took 6, we were out like a shot. We arrived home by 1, I had Leigha in her crib attatched to the pump by 130 and I was in bed tucked in like a burrito by 145. It was so nice to be in my own bed again. We slept very nicely until about 6 when Neil got home where upon he very kindly got Leigha up and took her over to his parents for a bit while I slept off the massive headache that arrived somewhere between my arrival home and waking up at 6.

I was up by 730 and back to bed by 9. It was wonderful and the next day I was coniving ways to bribe the boys into letting me take a nap without them killing each other while I did it. I figure I could sleep a week and still not be caught up.

Im thankful that kids are fast healers, by Thursday she was up in bed smiling and laughing and kicking the tv over the bed with her feet. It takes alot more than surgery apparently to keep this one down.

So once I finally got Leigha to let me look at her stomach with out yelling OWIE!!! everytime anyone even touched her (not that I blame her AT ALL), I was able to get a shot of the actual thing. It doensèt look  to bad all things considering. We expected alot worse. The only clinch is that the tube from where it inserts her stomach, it has to remain upright for about half inch or else it will elongate the hole that the button will be inserted into, and thus mess the whole thing up. Right now we have noticed that the way the tube naturally wants to go is to the left and we can already see the tube beginning to make a ovlal shape on that side. I have booked an appointment with our pediatrician on Tuesday so will ask about it then. Neil and I vividly remember them saying to keep the hole round so that it doesnèt leak, I èm not sure how to do that with a kid who can move and pull on it.

The day before our discharge Neil got a picture of the two of us together in the room. With her being on continuous feeds it was difficult to go anywhere with her at all and more so to keep her entertained in the room. She wanted to move and how do you keep a 17 month old busy when they dont exactly watch tv.

Last night she started vommiting. I was told that once she had the fundoplication she wasnt supposed to be able to do that anymore due to the banding around her stomach. So when she woke up this morning and was still doing it I did what any mother would do and called the doctors. Of course it was luch and I had to wait.

Once I finally got in I was put right in to see the doc covering for our pediatrician (Dr Teoh, he is asian and usually dyes his mohawk funny colors to impress the kids) while she is away this week. He is great and reassured me that she probably has the stomach flu but it isnt worth worrying over. Im not worried as long as it isnt a complication from the fundo, I can deal with the flu. Heck the flu is nothing in comparison to the multiple pneumonias, cold and other bugs she has had over the last 17 months of her life.

As long as she isnt running a fever higher than 38.5 then we can keep her at home on clear fluids and half strength formula. If it gets any worse we have to go directly to the Stollery ( my very favorite place :p)

and take it from there. I think they will decide what to do if it comes to that. Probably Xrays and bloodwork Not sure how they do xrays on kids with g-tubes as they cant put her in a clam shell.....not my problem or worry right now. But I did wonder how they did it as we sat and waited  afternoon.   For now we have started her on Peidalyte and part of her Pediasure to fill her stomach a bit and Ièm hoping that by the weekend she will be on the mend. Then the last hurdle will be to find a sitter and I can look at going back to work.                                                                                                                                                

I will appologise for the paragraphing down the page, not sure what happened but when I uploaded the pictures my typing went all wonky and I really don/t feel like spending 2 hours trying to figure it out. That and Leigha pushed some button on the computer that has turned off the question mark and the appostrophy and made them into french accent markers, have no clue how to fix that either, you will have imagine that all the words that should have an appostrophy have them and well the questions...same thing. :p

As Im re-reading this I noticed that it is all over the place and not in order. Forgive me for babbling. I know you are all brilliant people who will have absolutly no trouble at all figuring it all out. I know you all only came here for the pictures anyway;) I did go bakc and check most of the spelling and grammer, thats not to say I didnt miss about a million of them, but just turn your head sideyways then it will all look normal and make more sense to you. It works for me anyway.

Smidget's New Lease...

We are two days post surgery and things are suprisingly looking good. Leigha is amazing us in so many ways.

Tuesday morning we had to be at the hospital for 630am, which meant waking her up at 530 to arrive there on time, including the walk through the hospital and admitting time, etc. It was alot of hurry up and wait. She went in at 930, and this time Neil went in with her. Unfortunatly he had the same experience with her in anesthesia and surgery that I had the first time, with them putting her out and then whisking her away and pushing him out the door, literally pushing him out. This time tho we did know where to wait for her. After 3 hours we finnaly got to see our spaced out monkey, flying high as they wheeled her onto the ward in a stroller higher than the Beatles on any one of their records.

After a pretty quiet first afternoon and night I was up for a big surprise on Wednesday when she promptly decided for none of this lazing around in bed stuff, "I want out!!!" and then she promptly tried for the next..oh 3 hours to climb the rails. I finally was able to get her into a stroller and out onto the ward for a bit until it got to be a work trying to haul the pole with the pumps and tubes and steer the stroller with one hand. I mean I'm talented and all but not that talented.

She managed by about 830 last night to work herself into a tizzy and from about 845 until midnight switched between flat out screaming "MAMMA!!!" at the top of her lungs with huge crocodile tears and, and then quick as a wink smiling and making kissing noises at you. It's funny how morphine affects little people. I spent alot of last night pawning her off onto the nursing staff as I had had enough of her by about 9pm, and even calls to Neil couldn't make me not want to sell her to a travelling gypsy show. I know it was lack of sleep and stress on both our parts and am glad I was able to step away for a time and take a breather. She finally settled at about midnightish (1230 but who's clock watching), and once I finally got settled into my recliner (yes I got a lovely recliner chair to sleep in, it was oh so comfy), I think I managed about 4 good hours of sleep before first rounds began. Needless to say I am very sleep deprived and retarded.

Today we managed to cut down her morphine by 1mgm, and we added another pain killer (Toradol) to the mix to help get rid of the itchiness that she had been experienceing because of the Morphine, gotta love side effects. Leigha decided she didn't like the catheter they had inserted so managed to break it and make it leak everywhere so that came oout this afternoon, prompting the removal of the epidural at about 4pm as well. This is all a day earlier than originally planned. Our surgeon has already removed part of her staples and the incision looks amazing!! and her tube site is great. If we can keep the hole round for the next 4-6 weeks we will be laughing!!!

The next steps will be a walk in the park I think in comparison to this. Despite the fact that we have to now completly limit her oral feeds, so no more solids unless they are smushy (pasta, or anything not liquid at room temperature and smushy that we know she'll eat...so pasta and rice...and MiniGo's), and she can now only have thickened liquids 2-3 oz at a time spaced every 2-3 hours apart to avoid aspiration and further complications.

It's going to be an interesting few weeks coming up but I can already see how this is making her feel. She is already looking so pink in the cheeks and she hasn't gone blue yet (tho I think by writing it I jinxedit) and other than the 2 d-sats to 80% when her oxygen levels fell abruptly last night and today, she has been great with her numbers on the monitors.

I'm home right now and have sent Neil into the trenches until I can go back tomorrow and sit with her. I need to sleep for real and have a break to recharge. I'll be back later with phots of monkey, I have some cute ones of her spaced out trying to feed her dolly :p Totally cute.

A Big Kafuffle

Today is November 1st, a beautiful day, we turned the clocks back and got to be confused for an entire day as we slowly clue in to what clocks in our homes aren't turned to the correct times..."oh wait is that one right or not?".

An extra hour of sleep for those of us that are able to shut out the noise of the house around us and pull the covers back over our heads. Futsing and mucking around putting things away and preparing for the winter's inevitable arrival and with that arrival the "official" arrival of cold and flu season. You only have to live in a box to miss the going on about the H1N1 flu crisis and the "World Wide Pandemic" and trust me I know that there is going to be a Pandemic I am not insane enough to stick my head in the sand and think "nah, not here it's only in those other over populated areas that it happens in, like China or Mexico...dirty places". HA!! HAHAHA!! It happens next door, in your churches, schools, grocery stores. People that you see everyday are being stricken down with this flu and may in some instances kill them if they are ill or frail enough when it hits them

We are 16 days until Leigha's surgery day as of today. 16 days, that's not very long when it seems like a month ago I was heralding it across cyber space.  A mere 16 days until I hand over my 18 month old daughter and have someone I barely know open her up and hopefully make her a bit better. But now I am faced with this new reality of, what if taking her into the hospital where she is supposed to be getting healthy and better may end up having her get more ill and possibly dying?

I know the actual dying part is farfetched in reality but there have been 3 children in the past few weeks that I have heard of that have died because of the H1N1 virus. I need to be practical and know that yes it can happen.

Tonight I heard from my sister that the Flu clinics in Alberta have been shut down until further notice because of a shortage of H1N1 serum and no additional information will be available until Tuesday November 3rd. I am now faced with the reality that Leigha will not have the immunity even if she should receive the vaccine. I also know that the regular flu shot available is not going to do anything when it comes to fighting the H1N1 flu virus so there is really no point in getting that one at this point in time.

So how am I to keep my family healthy and safe? Well short of isolation precautions and sterilizing my entire house, which despite being majorly insane of me would be awfully tiring, I am going to try and encourage or, well lets say...persuade, it's a nice word. No one who is sick is allowed to step one toe into my home while Leigha is here until at least December. I also want to buy face masks and hand sanitizers but realize that face masks are a little much.

I'm going to try and not worry about something I truly cannot control. If the government, who we know are complete morons when it comes to organising anything cannot get this right then I am going to have to do what I can to ensure that my family stays safe and healthy. Here's what CBC Canada has to say on the whole situation. I'm hoping that by calling whomever I can that something will happen and everything will turn out well in the end.

But a little bit of help would be great about now.

The Next Hurdle

So the update of the last week as it stands?

In an attempt to call our Nurse Practitioner- and let me interject that I pager her at 930 and was still waiting for her to call me back when I finally gave up and moved onto the next hurdle- I had to make 2 calls, the first to the ENT office where I talked to his oh so lovely "receptionist" who told me he was unavailable...duh, do I look like an idiot? (don't answer that). So I finally after being given one number to call I finally got her pager number and did so, and waited........and waited.....until 200pm, when I gave up.

I called our surgeons office instead and got his receptionist and there I got the whole story of what was going on. Turns out the message got messed up.
What happened was this: Our ENT has cancelled his surgery on the cleft due to the fact that Leigha is going to have the Fundo application and PEG tube insertion. He thinks that having the cleft repair at the same time would be too much at once. So once we got that under control and sorted out we have a date:)

Novemeber 17th 2009 my daughter will be having surgery...again....

I'm terrified.

I know on here I can somehow seem altogether and composed, but honestly I am a mess. I have this vast medical crap inside my head and that unfortunatly is posing a threat to my sanity. Not that it was so intact to begin with, but somehow it's getting worse.

I look at her all happy and smiles and in the back of my head is the voice saying "what is she going to be like a month from now?" , "are we making the right decision?". How do I answer these questions? I listen to her in her bed at night whistling as she breathes and know that everyday the fluid is building up in her lungs and causing permanent damage. Today I made the mistake of putting a stethoscope to her chest, her left side is so congested that I can barely even hear any air moving through the crackles.

Will this have any impact on her in the future when we go to reverse it? Will she be forever turned off of oral food completly? Is she going to have to have thickened drinks forever?  Unfortunatly most of these questions are trial and error. I can only hope that God will watch over her and guide our surgeons hands during the actual surgery and that she does well once all is said and done.

I'm tired of having a sick kid all the time. Even tho it sounds horrid to say and I know I am blessed to have her as healthy as she is, But I want her to be fixed up and this to be over. It's been such a long haul these past 11 months, I'm hoping I have the strength to get through the next 8 or more.

Maybe in 6 months from now I can actually be writing about a trip to Toronto for the repair on the cleft and that this will be the last phase of surgeries that we will have to be looking at in her little life thus far.

How on earth do parents of chronically ill kids do this day in and out? Maybe I am doing it and not realising it? Who knows?

If  I can get through the next 40 days, I mean Noah built an ark and managed to float it for 40 days, shouldn't I be able to stay sane for at least that long?

But then he didn't know my 2 sons?

Updates That Are Really No Help

My phone died today of all days. I had plans to call the Stollery and play phone tag with our ENT's nurse practitioner to see if she could get into his tiny little head and find out what is going on in there.

...sigh...it's on my list for tomorrow...added to at least. I think I have a list of 5 calls to make in the span of 3 hours, most importantly being ordering Leigha's formula and thickener for this next month and then ordering it from Canmore once my credit card is clear enough to let me :p Gotta love my house today :p

I think I'm going to window shop online and it may make me feel better until I get to yell at someone tomorrow. I really felt like doing that today, but alas I didn't get to...

But I did get to spend a wonderful day with my little gal that I watch in home care who is starting to smile now that we have begun weaning her from one of her meds. She actually pointed at me on Monday when I came into the house. I hadn't seen her in about 10 days, she missed me...makes my horrid day all better with that. I spent most of my day holding her hand and singing silly songs to her

What a wonderful way to spend a crappy day hey;)

On The War Path

I'm going to be short here as I am playing damage control. after what almost a year or so of troubles we finally get a doctor willing to do surgery to get us one step further to correcting Leigha's cleft and today when I returned from work I get the lovely message from Neil that our ENT, the guy that was so behind us before has put the brakes on and doesn't want her to have the fundo and PEG done.

Dr Lees office called and informed us today, I am shocked.

Absolutely shocked, I don't even know what to do. I don't get it. Why now? I mean last week he was all for it. Yes lets do it and see how it goes, fix the pneumonias and then we can look at the cleft and go from there. Sounded good to us. I mean we are the parents, right?

It's a bunch of crap and I'm at a loss. Here we were all prepping to go for surgery, getting the boys ready to expect this and planning what we were going to do, etc. Now I have to call tomorrow and figure out what is going through his tiny little head.

I am at a loss....

I want to hit something...hard....repeatedly.....till I break something.

Lost Momentum

I'm still out here in a sense. I've lost momentum of late and can't find the groove again. Ever since we got home on Thursday I can't pick the ball up again and get going. I'm just so tired and lack the motivation to do anything. I can't seem to find myself and it seems like I'm going around in circles and not getting anywhere fast.

Leigha isn't doing very well since we got home. The tube feed is going well. We had our first change last night just Neil and I. It went well and I got it in on the second try after it folded in her nasal cavity and poked back out. The unfortunate part about the NG tube is that the tapes that hold it down on her cheek are beginning to aggravate her skin and it's pulling up at her nose so it looks like we will have to change it frequently to avoid her skin breaking down. A real hassle but if it means avoiding a further problem then it's a good thing I guess. We have an appointment o n Friday with our Pediatrician to follow-up on after our discharge. I guess we will then decide where to go from here. Leigha is still not eating much so we are relying a lot on the tube feed but are finding it difficult to get into any type of routine here at home with her being such an active kid.

She is supposed to get 800 mLs of the Pedia sure daily and 450 mLs of regular thickened fluids on top of that. We are lucky if we get her to take 2 tube feeds and 2 bottles of 240 mLs (that's 480 mLs, and we don't add that to the 800). We have the oral stuff down but getting her to stay still for half an hour or so attached to a pole is tough. We are supposed to run the feed after she eats not during so it means she is usually sitting in her high chair after we are done eating, she doesn't want to be in the chair anyway so it's tough.

I'm sort of losing confidence and at a breaking point. The stress of dealing with her illness has become very overwhelming and even tho we have had support from friends and family it still becomes a lot to handle when it is your own child suffering from an unknown disorder that even the doctors are unsure of the cause. I don't even think they have a plan of action right now other than maintenance and see how it goes. I'm not keen on keeping her on the tube feed, she is beginning to develop food aversions, I know where this will lead in time, and I know it's not getting better the longer it takes.

Tomorrow is another day and I'm hoping that with the sunrise Leigha will be happier and we can get somewhere in her recovery. I know it's going to take time right now and nothing happens overnight. I just wish they had listened when we first brought it up to them that there was a problem. Why is it that mom's have to fight so hard to get someone to listen to us especially when we KNOW we are right??

I Wish We Were Home Now

I'm writing this from the computer from the hospital...yes we are still here trapped in the hell we have called home since last week when Leigha was admitted. So far we have only had the EEG, ECG and finally today the FESS ( flexible endotrachial swallowing study) or the glorified swallowing study where essentially they shoved a small camera down smidgets nose (the other side that didn't have the nasal tube) to see what happened when she swallowed. They have finally determined that we have been doing the proper thing with thickening her feeds...OMG we are brilliant and know WTF we are doing!!! she apparently aspirated the nectar consistency when she swallowed which is a step higher than she currently has now and does the honey fine so they say that we should continue to give her all fluids by mouth in a honey consistency until further notice. Well like duh and they thought we were morons and trying to kill her silently??We will go home with the tube feed until she continues to gain weight and does not have anymore blue spells and we can determine the cause of the them...heaven knows when that will be as we have no idea what causes them to begin with. I must now give up my place at the computer to another person but will be back later if possible.

Smidget

Well it only took me almost 24 hours to finally get enough energy to write something. Better yet the energy to stay upright for longer than 5 minutes. I am exhausted, but at least able to carry on an intelligent conversation providing you talk to me before 5pm. Leigha has been home on day pass from the Stollery yesterday and today and I think she napped for 5 hours both days. She really needed it too. She is also finally eating something substantial and we can't seem to get in front of her fast enough. Such a change from the last few weeks. But let me back up seeing as how I left everyone in the lurch and back at the pediatrician's office appointment on Monday evening ranting about how sick and tired I was of it all. So Tuesday morning I got everyone up and loaded them into the van to head into the city for Leigha's appointment. I had the hindsight to grab two packs of transformer gummie snacks, people let me tell you they saved my life and I plan NEVER to leave the house without them again. We met with Dr Dansereau at 930 and I proceeded to tell her all about the previous weekend and the week leading up to it. The increasing blue spells, the fever...I now have realised that our thermometer has been dunked into the sink, thanks to a very sneaky 2 year old..note to self buy a new one so that when you tell the doctors at the offices they don't think you are crazy when you say our child has a 40 degree temp (usually they would have seizures with a high temp like that...I know that too but hey I was stressed and dumb). So we were asked to go for a chest xray and headed down stairs to do that. In between the time it took for them to snap the pic of her screaming expanded rib cage, have the techs download the cd, give it to me, and have me haul all three of them back upstairs and into her office again she had decided to have us go to the Stollery for observation to see what was going on. About time. So I very promptly thanked her and hauled them all down to the van where upon I called Neil and snapped a bit. In a panic I told him we were headed into the Stollery emergency to have them look at Leigha, only problem was I had only a diaper bag with me and the boys as well I was not prepared for an impromptu side visit to the Emergency room. Definitely not somewhere you want to drag two little boys for fun. My MIL was in a meeting all day so I called Caughleigh, of course my timing sucked, she is always out when I call her and I had to leave a rambling message with her hubby telling him I needed her to come get the boys for me. It was only luck that we were headed into the Stollery as my sister Laura works there and my next call was to her, she was able to meet us in the parkade and play interference for a few hours until Caughleigh arrived with Madison and was able to take the boys home to her place for the night. I am so lucky to have such people in our lives that can drop things for us to help out in a crisis. Especially since I could only think past the end of my nose and nothing past that. We checked into Emerg at 1200pm and by 1230 were in being seen by the doctors. Unfortunately they needed me to tell the WHOLE story of what's been going on since her birth at least 6 times over before they decided to order some blood work, urine tests and start an IV. The IV was the worst idea, it took them 14 tries to get a line as she inherited my veins (I'm sooo sorry) and they kept blowing them out when they inserted the catheter. Of course it didn't help that she was dehydrated either. They finally gave up when they finally got one line in and began the IV and the line blew enlarging her right inner arm to ugly sizes. I had the whole thing pretty much undone by the time they came in to remove it. They opted not to have an IV by then...really?? Which was a good thing as I think if I had to hold her down yet again I would have had to opt out and leave the room, a mom can only handle so much of seeing her babe being tortured in the name of health for so long. About this time she had been crying EVERY time anyone in green came near her..not that I blame her in the least. Every time they came near her it was to poke at her and hurt her. We did get a very nice Resident doctor named Tyler who has thus far proven to be very good at his job. He comes up to check on Leigha every day and she is even to the point where she will now wave goodbye to him. I think she has forgiven him, not hat he even poked her, but it's the principle of the matter right? Leigha on the bed on the Ward right after they transfered us up to the unit. We were finally admitted to 4E4 at about 10pm where they inserted the NG tube down her nose and into her tummy to help feed her. At this point in the day she had only taken in 14oz since 5pm the night before, and no solids to speak of really. Cheerios don't count apparently. She was not happy with that and the fact that they kept putting contact probes on her to monitor her respirations, heartrate, and oxygen levels. She hates things on her feet so the SAT (oxygen) probe really ticked her off, still does. By the time she finally fell asleep it occured to me that we had been put into an isolation room, not sure why but hey, private rooms are good. SO we finally were able to settle in and I could get her to sleep...by midnight she was settled and only roused a bit each time they came to turn the tube feed on, the gal working nights had this issue with checking the tube placement EVERY time she started the feed. A little overkill but she was just doing a thourough job. She only woke her up once and I was able to get back to sleep realitively fast. Leigha feeding Gack her bottle of thickened water the next morning. Hey Gack has to eat too! The next morning arrived all to fast with me overtired and grouchy, what a pair we made. After a very long night we were finally seeing the doctors come in to see us. Our Pediatrician Dr Dansereau came in about 930 to fill us in on what she wanted done while we were admitted. Heart Echo with a cardiac consult, EEG, Dietician Consult, Speech-Language Pathology Consult, and we were to wait for our ENT Dr El-Hakim to arrive to see what else he wanted to do- he was on a conference in Calgary expected back Thursday afternoon...crap hey:p So we waited two whole days before anyhting happened. Skipping to Thursday, as nothing happened until that evening, when Dr El-Hakim arrived. We decided to do a fluoroscopy swallowing assessment with a scope to see how she swallows. Essentially this is a camera down her nose while she eats to see where the food goes when she swallows. They are thinking that she may have a Tracheal Fistual on top of the Lanryngeal Cleft (fun, fun all around here). We won't know until they go to do it, they have to feed her the fluids then flip her over onto her tummy and see where the barium goes if it splits into two areas and into her lungs then the fistula is there. Thursday evening we were finally taken off of Isolation..turned out to be a paper eror and were weren't isolated to begin with and moveed to a semi-private room across the hall. The EEG was done on Friday afternoon and she did fairly good. The only problem with that is she is soo tired that she was soo not into the whole "put the hat on my head, insert funny gel and poke it with a cotton swab to activate the sensors in my head". She cried a bit and once she finally calmed down refused to nap. Hopefully they got enough to get a conclusive answer and rule out seizure activity as a cause of the blue spells. Because it is Victoria Day weekend we have to wait until Tuesday to move on with the rest of the testing. We are now in a waiting game to see what else happens. The toughest part is keeping her confined to one place while the tube feeds run every 3 hours, I am in need of duct tape for her. Attempting an escape from the confines of her room.

Tuesday has the Heart echo, the Home Nutrician Consult so we can arrange to have the equipment needed at home to run the tube feeds for the next 8 or so weeks, the Swallowing Fluoro with the scope..only if she co-operates (that's whats so great about our ENT, if she doesn't do well with the camera he'll stop and won't try again) . Then we can hopefully see where we stand with it all. I'm hoping that by Wednesday we will be discharged home. It may be too early but we'll have to see anyway. I don't want to have her sent home just to have to go back again weith the same issues a few days later.

So that's what's been happening this past week. Not much really! I'll keep you in the loop as we find out more, but things seem to be moving at a snails pace in coimparisson to some things. As long as she continues to thrive on the tube feed it will remain in place until she can adapt to eating and drinking well without losing weight and coughing. On a good note she's gained 3 oz since the tube wnet in on Wednesday:o

I'll fill you all in later on the escapades with the Speech Language chick later...short quick version..Leigha hates her and I can't stand her either. But it's a long story better left until later when I cna bitch about it more.

Have a great weekend and I'll be back later with some more pictures of the kids...I really do have 3 of them;)

I'm Here

Just in case you all thought I died and fallen off the ends of the earth..I'm still here in a sense. Leigha has been admitted into the Stollery Hospital pending an investigation into the whole shebang...THANK GOD!!! More tomorrow on all this, the ins and outs of it all and what has happened since Tuesday...yes I said Tuesday. That's how long we've been there so far and she's not being sprung until next week:( Until tomorrow then I am off to find my bed...after tucking the boys in and smashing myself over the head a few times so I can sleep like I've died...I pity Neil sleeping at the hospital tonight...NOT!!!

Smidget Update

Not that I have much to update on from last night. Leigha is still running a high fever and the blue spells are starting to become more frequent. She's had about 20 today and it's only 3pm. She doesn't seem uncomfortable at all and isn't having labored breathing apart from her "normal" breathing which continues to be fast and shallow. Last night was really rough tho. I have moved the baby monitor to the bedside again so I can listen to her breathing while I am "asleep". I use the term loosely as I don't think I slept more than 6 hours if that. She was up at least 4 times last night, I had Neil get up with her at least once, I had hit a wall and was too tired to get up anymore. We gave her Motrin around the clock last night every 4 hours to try and get her fever under control. It is getting as high as 44 at night, and she has the shakes from it in the morning. I felt so sorry for her. I know that I really should have taken her into the hospital, but I also know that if I had they would have said for me to give her Tylenol every 4 hours and follow up with my family doctor...I work for them, I hear it all the time. I would rather follow that advice at home and have her see someone that knows her complex medical history and deal with it then. I am thinking of having her admitted and having them run the full testing of the heart, lungs etc to rule it all out and see once and for all what the heck is going on. If it is an AV Shunt then we need to look into it and possibly repair it before she dies from it. My MIL who is a very brilliant woman has done a bunch of research for me on this and believes that Leigha has a specific form of AV Shunt known as a PDA. I usually hate it when people go into a doctors office having researched an illness on the Internet and think they have this illness or another, it usually proves to be inaccurate. In this case however I am beginning to think she may be right. Leigha has many of the signs and symptoms of this and it may also be part of the reasons why she continues to have the swallowing issues...maybe the surgery has worked and this is the cause of the swallowing problems??? I won't know unless I ask right?? There are no stupid questions right? And if she doesn't have it then GREAT lets move on to something else then. We ruled out the Cystic Fybrosis (at least I'm assuming it's negative..they never called me in to say otherwise so it must have been...I may be in for a shock tomorrow if it is). So lets move this train along and find out some more stuff. Leigha has had and ECG and the four lomb Blood Pressures by the cardio we saw in January but according to the info on the PDA it can be missed if it a small leak and will show up on a Heart Echocardiogram. It's worth a try right? I plan on sitting with the monitor by my bed tonight listening to my baby breathe, counting her laboured breaths and hoping that she continues to do so until tomorrow. I am praying that we get to the bottom of this before it's too late.I wish that she didn't have to go through all of this. I want my happy baby back!!! It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't supposed to be this hard. She was supposed to come home with us and grow up to be healthy and happy. Not have to live with these problems, have to live on thickeners and mashed foods, and yogurt. Constantly watched and monitored to see that she doesn't drink anything to avoid a possible pneumonia. Always watching her weight, multiple doctors visits, people poking and prodding at her, strangers faces, and all the doctors asking the numerous questions over and over again yet getting no further in the diagnosis of WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER! Am I seriously over reacting here? Am I losing my marbles? ( I can't lose what I don't have right!) I would just like to finally sleep a full night without worrying about finding her dead in her crib, or have to spend the day watching her struggle to breathe and watching her turn blue in front of our eyes. It's not right I tell you, just not right.

Will it Ever Be Answered??

(I know I've used this picture before but you have to admit she is really cute with her and Gack!)

Smidget is sick...AGAIN!!! and since it's her, it's not the average got a cold will be better in a few days sick. It's the running the 40 degree fever and not eating,, gagging, puking, waking up at all hours crying and only wanting mommy. Not that I mind her wanting me at all, it's just I wish once and for all we had an answer to all this mess and mayhem. I am sick an tired of watching her struggle to breathe, watching her turn blue at regular intervals even more now.

She has begun to have the cyanotic (blue spells) up to 8-10 times daily now and they are taking so much longer to resolve on their own. She seems to be in slight distress but not enough for me to take her into emergency and declare it a medical emergency as she isn't crying or fighting for breath just blue in the mouth, nose, hands and feet. I know what my schooling taught me, cyanosis is a sigh of a medical emergency, but I also know my home town hospital that if I take my plump little girl in there they will take one look at her and declare that there is nothing wrong with her and send us home again with less answers than what we have now and nothing gained but more frustration.

We are listening to her on the monitor and can hear her rapid shallow breaths, up to 45 in one minute ( and that's in a good moment) sometimes more. I can't even tell you what her pulse is, she won't even let me touch her with a stethoscope to listen. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I know in my heart there is something wrong but how do I get it through to the doctors?? How do you explain it to them that you think they have overlooked something and that she may be in more trouble than it looks? I mean how many chest infections and fevers does one little girl have to have before someone gets the hint that there is something drastically wrong with the whole picture here?

I mean do I actually have to walk in on my baby girl dead in her crib to actually get a response from someone?? I am at a loss as to why this is happening. I want answers, I want her to feel better and I want her to thrive and not be the sickly little girl that she is becoming before my eyes. Is it normal for a 13month old little girl to still be on only thickened formula and sometimes apple juice, and eating only small amounts of beginner toddler food? She can only tolerate yogurt and soft consistencies ,dry cereal, and sometimes she can eat pasta without gagging...someone needs to look farther into this whole thing and see what's been missed, this is NOT NORMAL.

I mean her last surgery was in January and no one has looked into this since then. She's had two bouts of aspiration pneumonia since then, she runs low grade fevers of 39 Celsius off and on all the time and is losing weight. She went from 22lbs 10 1/4 oz in January to 19 lbs 8 1/4 oz May 5th that's almost a 3lb loss, way too much in my opinion if she was a healthy kid she should be gaining not losing, at least not a drastic amount especially when we have been trying to get her gaining it, not losing it.

Tell me this, am I over reacting or something? Am I expecting too much from the doctors? expecting them to get to the root of the problems and help me fix her and make her better before I have to see her worse off than she is now?

Just Quick

Hi, I'm back...exhausted but with a few notes... I completed 64 pages this weekend, I'm so happy with myself. I even got a good start on my cherished Heritage album that I have been dreaming about for almost 3 years now!! I shall have some pictures up tomorrow of some of the best pages that I completed. In regards to Leigha's birthday being the same as my Great-grandfather's..it was in a way. He was born on March 21st, but his parents registered his birth on April 3rd and then celebrated it on that day thereafter. He actually always knew his birth date was the 21st so in a way he probably had two birth dates...two gifts??...two cakes??Kid could make out like a bandit. So in a way my aunt was right seeing as how we did celebrate my Grandfather's birth date on April 3rd...depending on his mood at the time;) So until tomorrow I am off to find my bed, I admit my lower back is killing me from sleeping on those horrid bunk beds all weekend. Even tho I had doubled the mattress up ( I have tricks from over the years) and had multiple quilts to lie on, ear plugs in my ears and my medication (as well as some bottled varieties) to help me sleep. I had a horrible sleep anyway and am exhausted but elated with all that I accomplished. I can finally say that my 2004/2005 album is completely finished and I can finally shelve it and not go back except to enjoy the photos and memories contained within. If only it wasn't a blue colored album like every other album I own;) Have a great night everyone;)

Hello All

I'm getting the final prep done for my weekend away. Finally it is here. I can't wait!!! At 4 pm this afternoon I am escaping the confines of my house kissing my kidlets goodbye, Missing my forlorn hubby goodbye as well and running for the hills as fast as my poor unfit legs can carry me. I have finally reached my long sought after scrapbooking weekend and I can't wait!

On a side note it also happens to be Miss Leigha's first Birthday today!!!So I thought I would give you a photo montage of her first year. She was born on this day at 5:04am, the 100th birthday of her Great-Great grandfather (according to my aunt who apparently did the math..I'll have to check, I'll let you know on Monday if it's right or not. I'm not about to drag the family tree out right now and check for sure) Either way the day is right as he was baptised that day in the registry but not born on that day. Back in the day the birthday they used to use was the day you were baptised on not the day you were actually born on...weird isn't it? So without further ado... Leigha..My first picture of her;) Once I was finally alone and it was quiet I snapped it while she was napping on the coverlet on the bed. Nathaniel was so excited to hold her and so happy he had a baby sister.

One of the nicest pictures I have of her with me. Even tho I'm not actually in it;

Lets skip to June, playing outside in the shade. She loved to be wherever we were and be where she could watch the boys play.

This is at our family reunion in Zealandia Saskatchewan in June at the Family BBQ. Hanging with Daddy.

This is Leigha's Great- Great-Great Auntie Hazel. She was tickled to hold her that afternoon;)

August in Airdrie with Grandpa getting to hold cousin Rhys and Leigha. The babies are only one month and one day apart in age. Rhys was born on March 4th 2008 to Neil's older brother and his wife.. He's totally cute;)

This is Leigha's godfather Dale at the Eskimo's football game in June. Leigha's first game and not her last for sure. The Eskimos won too...totally because she was there of course;)

So we got around alot in June to Auntie Laura's birthday as well. She even wore her pretty party dress to celebrate;)

October with Great Grandma McLeod at the lake on my birthday too. This was actually the first time she had met my Dad's mom. It was nice to be able to spend time with them for the day while Neil and my dad moved the trailer into place at the cabin.

Picture time with Papa at the lake. We hope to have many more times like this over the next few years.

This is after Leigha's first laryngeal cleft repair surgery in November. She did so well that day!

Our photo shoot with the kids in late November for Christmas cards..went well don't you think?

December saw Leigha learn to crawl, cruise the furniture and eat the first her of solid foods and manage to keep it down. She also said her first words "Dada, and mama"

Christmas day was very exciting with a baby. She kept chewing on the paper, but was very interested in the baby doll we got her.

Photo op with Grandma Lyn! Boxing Day evening.

Showing off the new hat Great Baba made her. She was quite determined to put it on her head. By February Leigha had learned to crawl up and down the two steps in our family room with no issues, and was FINALLY staring to roll over a bit. Took a bit.

And here we are in March. With her favorite baby doll. She drags the poor thing everywhere with her by the arms. I am forever washing it as it gets covered in dog hair and it makes me nuts. She can now navigate the stair cases up and makes it look easy. I look behind me and am astounded at how fast she moves sometimes. It seems I have just turned my back and she is across the room. Time flies.

She can now fully turn over to her tummy but only from her back she still has issues getting from a back lying position to a sit. She now can get off the couch when she wants by scooting herself over to the edge and sliding off on her tummy...too cute and her new word this week is "dis" she wants to know what "dis" is all the time. Be it a car or whatever. Yesterday she wasn't satisfied until I told her it was a yellow car and not just a car. She is persnickety I tell you. Has a temper and wants it her way. Don't tell her "no" or she bursts into tears and big huge crocodile ones too. She's growing up too fast my little girl.

So that's my little girl's first year...give or take a bit. I have so many pictures of her it's hard to choose a few:) And then I left out the beautiful ones Justina took as well, If you'd like to see them let me know I can send you the link to her site so you can view them.

I'm off to cuddle her a bit before I leave for the weekend. It's nice to get away but so nice to come home as well;)

So Today...

Today was a gong show.. To put it mildly. There is something to be said about single mothers out there. I give them credit. Today I could have cheerfully taken my kids and mailed them to Calgary to Carmen for a bit. I had to take all three of them to the Stollery hospital for their follow-up at our ENT Dr El-Hakim. Let me say that having to take 2 or more kids to a doctors appointment at any time is a chore to begin with but trying to keep three in check is trying. With Leigha sick it was even worse. It started out okay I got them into the van at 1130..we didn't have to be there until 110. I had a plan to go into the west end to pick up Leigha thickener for her bottles first. I was driving down the yellowhead past Sherwood Park when Ryan started up, he had spotted some 3D glasses that Nathaniel had and now he wanted them. Now how in the heck was I supposed to get him the glasses when I was driving down the highway at 110kph?? Nathaniel sits in the rear seats and was teasing Ryan repeatedly so by the time I hit 82ave I was ready to drop them off on the side of the road if they didn't stop fighting. I called Neil to vent a bit and by the time I arrived that the hospital I decided it was probably best if I parked and found some lunch as perhaps it would help if I fed the little demons. So we arrived and parked and I loaded them all up and into the hospital we went. After walking all the way through the hospital to the cafeteria I had to then decipher what the boys wanted to eat, chicken it was decided and we found a spot to eat. Thankfully we found a spot at the lunchtime rush beside a nice older couple who didn't mind two little demons beside them that refused to sit still. It turned out Nathaniel had to pee and only decided to tell me once i had Leigha out of the sling and munching on a piece of chicken herself. I had to pack them all up again and find somewhere to put the chicken while we trudged into the restroom so the boys could pee as heaven forbid ( and I wasn't going to not make him) Ryan didn't go as well. After our pit stop we finished lunch and walked over to the Stollery side of the hospital for our appointment. After checking in with the receptionist we sat down and i was able to let Leigha free of the sling. She crawled away and found numerous dirty toys to play with and proceeded to cough away merrily;) Nothing better for pneumonia than a dirty hospital with dirty toys;) Thank goodness I carry hand sanitiser in my diaper bag. We went into see Dr El-Hakim and his resident (the same one that Leigha freaked out when she had that blue spell on the surgical table in November) So we had a quick talk about Nathaniel...no concerns. On to Ryan, where I finally got some answers about his cryptic comments the day of surgery in December. Turns out he thinks it may be reflux that is making Ryan have all the symptoms of coughing, gagging and the nasal symptoms. As well as the upper respiratory and throat issues. So the plan for him is to treat him for literally acid reflux and see if it helps calm down the agitation and temper tantrums. As well as testing for the diabetes and then follow-up in September to see how he is doing and probably do another bronchoscopy to see how the Prevacid has helped. Miss Leigha is always technical. The plan for her is to treat her left pneumonia that has developed over this past week. Have that improve and have it confirmed with an x-ray..I have to do this or else we can't move on. Then we need to have another swallowing study done under fluoro done (I tried to find the note in November where I explained it , what it is, how it's done.. If you want more info on it all ask and I shall deliver info to you all;) I can't find it now??? Brain fart) So then once we see the results of the swallowing study then we can move onto the next phase...which is....I don't know. He wants to see us May 29th to discuss the next steps. Until then we are to discontinue all thin fluids and to put Leigha onto the thickened fluids all the time again and not to try to take her off them again, fine by me I would rather her NOT to have pneumonia thank you very much. So thats the scoop. I am off to iron my fabric from last weekends excursions. I color set it last night, washed and dried it so now I have to iron it out so I can lay my pattern out and measure my son tomorrow;) I have a date with my sister as well tomorrow afternoon as well as the date with fabricland to scope out potential fabric sales and to pick out bobbin cases and interfacing. My sewing machine came with plastic bobbin cases and I'm not sure they look so sturdy??? I also need some hook and eye so I can do some mending that I have been procrastinating about lately. So until tomorrow when I shall return with pictures of my fabric purchases from last weekend all washed,set and ironed and my new ones, should i find some...have a great night and talk to you all soon;)

Some Small Successes

After months of mishaps and Blunders. More steps backwards than forwards and so many bumps in the road we feared that we many have to call in a search party to help us navigate the road ahead of us for fear of losing ourselves, we can finally say that a light has been seen in the Pollard household. Lets start at the top of the family...Neil...well honestly nothing has happened with him other than he has managed to master diaper changes with Leigha without having to cover his face;) I know her diapers are enough to clear a room but he honestly must have lost his sense of smell at some point in the last month;) He is a self nominated master chef and has become a very good meal planner on his feet and is a demon when we grocery shop in Sundays. Most of our meal plans come from his on Thursdays when we sit down to plan the next weeks meals and I can honestly say suppers have become less of a challenge in the past few weeks. He even does the laundry and takes out the garbage:o Nathaniel has mastered his alphabet and numbers on sight and spelling. He now just has to learn to write his name and learn how to recognise his phone number and of course to write it. We came upon the 1 year mark on potty training and are really proud of him for that. Now if we can get him tying his shoes and doing up his pants we will be set:) He is still the quiet one and doesn't realise that he outweighs Ryan by a good 20 punds:o Ryan these past weeks has been our most challenging. He has taken it upon himself to start screaming when he doesn't get his way. "NO" screamed at the top of his lungs and repeatedly is often heard despite our interventions, ignoring, time outs or anything has no effect. Quite the annoying thing. And I cannot wait to have it gone for good. But I cannot see it leaving any time soon as he is a very aggressive child with a volatile temper. A good combination of both Neil and Myself as I can see aspects of both our families in our middle son. Tho with research I can see where he will flourish with the correct outlets and we are striving to get him into extra cirricular activities. I only wish they weren't geared to over 3 years of age:( Ryan's new success this week has been potty training:) I know it may be too soon to jump up and down but he has gone three days now with only 1 accident:o Wow! He works on a bribe system quite well so far it works and he will do anything for a cookie or gummie snacks:) Yeah Transformers:) If I can only get him to stop coloring on my walls:o Now for Leigha...we are now one week post-op and so far......no puking. It may be too soon to tell but so far she is able to tolerate small amounts of thin fluids with no complaints and no coughing. Last time in November she was unable to do this so we may be looking at success. The real test will be in two weeks after the swelling is gone and the steroids are absorbed as well. But I am remaining optimistic and hoping that this time we are lucky and it stuck, literally. Her scan last Friday went well but we will have no results from that until next Friday February 6th when we visit with our Pediatrician. Tonight at supper I gave her some milk in a regular cup and she literally jumped at the cup, not a cough at all and she loved it. So next week I should be able to start lowering her thickener and see how she does. If we can get her to regular fluids and drinking normally I will be so happy. Finally having her drinking normally:0 The next step will be getting her into the Glenrose for her swallowing therapy to get her gag reflex under control and not have it so touchy. Right now her reflex is right behind her front teeth and is set off really easily, by touching her lips will cause her to wommit:p So if they can get her over that a bit and move it back further in her mouth, more like a normal person. Then we can introduce regular foods into her diet ones that have a more solid consistency and no more of the pureed stuff :p. Yeah for Leigha:) So the kids are astounding me all over this week:) That and tonight we got final approval to move our accounts out of the ATB!!! So as of next week we will be gone for good. Tomorrow we have an appointment with the new bank to sign all the paperwork and move all the accounts and the good part they do all the work for me! Even moving all the pre-authorised things:0 I love it. I think that if it all goes well I may die of shock:0 I had an awesome visit with my sister Laura today who came over to help me out this morning while I had an appointment in the city. I got a parking ticket and got lost in the downtown core trying to find the darn place. Tomorrow is another day and I hope that this weekend will be awesome as well. My Grandfather Michael is back at home and recovering well from his battle with pneumonia and Neil's Baba is also battling the same bug in Calgary's Hospital. Some thoughts to help them continue with their healing. I miss them both and feel terrible that I am unable to stretch myself in multiple directions to see them all and help out a bit. On a crummy note my Dad got an unexpectedly early retirement last Wednesday and worked his last day last Friday. So some good thoughts for my parents right now would be welcome. I am sure there are many out there at this time who are feeling quite lost in this world of uncertainty.

Too Pooped to Party

That's me. I'm toasted and fried and all that. I have a cramp in my right hip that will not go away not matter what stretches I do, and a pain in my lower back to match. All thanks to the chair/bed thingy I called home to last night. Leigha's surgery went well. She went in at about 930 and was back in her room by 1030, screaming away. I heard her coming down the hall before I even saw her. They had her in a stroller and I had her snatched out of it before they even found out if I was the mother or not:o It took her a really long time to wake up this time round with a lot of gagging and retching. Not sure what prompted it, maybe a change in anesthetic? Neil and Nathaniel both have issues with anesthetic so it wouldn't surprise me if she did as well. After a shot of Gravol and a few hours nap she was back to a bit more of herself as long as I was never far from sight. It was actually the first time Leigha didn't have a smile for Dr El-Hakim:o I know shocking. She actually played strange with him and tried to hide before surgery when he met us for a quick chat. That's one thing I like about him, he always meets with us before and after surgery in person. No sending of the resident's to tell the news, or results. So we stayed over having a relatively good night. I slept horribly but Leigha only awoke once at 330 to eat and then back to sleep until 7 when we had to get up to get ready for her scan at 8. The scan was nasty. I had to force feed her in 5 mins her pablum laced with the radio active contrast (only like .5mL...so not even 1/8 of a teaspoon). I managed to get it everywhere and then they literally taped her to the table in order to get the shots. Total time was 1hr to get the pics done. But in the meantime she spent a good 1/2hr screaming and trying to get up, then about 10 mins giggling once I played peek-a-boo then finally she crashed 10 mins before it was over:( She woke up and started crying just as they went to un-tape her from the bed. Onward and Upward, to see Laura before we left for the day. Downstairs to say good morning and good bye before we started out into the bitter cold. -31 when we left this morning:( So once the van warmed up a bit, we headed home to the chaos. I was only home for about an hour when Nathaniel puked on the floor, Ryan managed to become naked twice and he used the potty once. Leigha also managed to pull the laundry basket onto her head and bury herself under some clothes in our room....all in 1/2hr. Life is never dull:) I even managed to get some more laundry done today, wash dishes, clean the toy room, and not sell the kids to the gypsies:) Tomorrow dawns another day where I have to be at the clinic for 830 to try and attempt for the first time to take the main phone off of ignore:o I'll let you know how it goes. If the doc comes in and patients are there then all is well:) Yeah for me! Thanks goodness I have a father-in-law who loves my kids and is willing to kid sit at the drop of a hat. Neil managed overtime tomorrow as well so that has us both out tomorrow morning and Neil is reffing at 5 tomorrow evening. No rest for the wicked. Only a week home a it hasn't stopped. Let me know when this ride is over. Until tomorrow I'm off to put my tired tootsies into a nice bed and call it a night. Tomorrow more pics from the Caribbean.

Just Quick

I don't have much time, I have to make supper and still have to pack but just wanted tolet everyone know what's on the go for the rest of the week. We arrived home on Saturday and I headed out on Monday to get some groceries and TRY I repeat TRY and find Leigha toy box for her toys as they are ultimatly taking over the family room and the very small cube we currently have is too small. In the two hours I wan gone I returned home to threemessages all about Leigha. On Thursday..Yes tomorrow she is scheduled to have her repeat Laryngeal cleft repair done at 920am. So that left me with approximatly three days to arrange for child care for two kids and try and get all the left over banking crap sorted out so that I could spend two whole days at my favorite place on Earth, Edmonton's Stollery Hospital for Children:) Can you hear my excitement. Not only does Leigha have her cleft repair done tomorrow but Friday is also the day that was scheduled for the Gastric Emptying Scan...that mysterious scan that I have thus far been unable to find a thourough explination for. So think of us tomorrow as we plough through yet another series of tests and surgeries. I am about to go upstairs and rip Nathaniel's vocal cords out before the Police come and take me away for child abuse. He is currently standing outside screaming repeatedly and now the dogs have started barking . I think it's to try and drown him out..not that I blame them in the least. I think I'll maybe sell him or something. I hear blonde haired, green eyed kids go for good money somewhere??? Nah I'd miss him eventually....about when he can wash the dishes, or be really useful:)

The End is Nearer...Sorta:(

Well not really, but I FINALLY finished my Christmas cards today. They will only arrive a few days late...but better late than never. And I have to still address a few that I am without address for..My aunt, friends etc. Still haven't cleaned the house, baked cookies..you know the homemaker type things. But I'm not really entertaining until Boxing Day so there's still plenty of time:) It's good to be optimistic in times of trouble. But I got some gifts wrapped yesterday and the tree is trimmed finally:) Not big trouble really, Leigha has a cold. Now with most kids not a huge deal, TLC and some nasal spray and away you go. The thing is she still has pneumonia going on....two months or so now:( So I'm now geared up and watching for signs of complications and her feeding is horrendous now. I sent three bottles over to the in-laws today and they returned with Leigha with only one empty....that's all day too:( Not good. I know she eats best for me, but I needed to finish or try to finish my shopping. Still not done but tomorrow is another day too:) That and the boys are still on the mend and now Ryan has this barking cough thing. It's common with kids or adult s that undergo a Bronchoscopy but I really don't need him catching pneumonia as well. So not my idea of fun really. So Ryan is already on Amoxil so that should kill any bugs and I do have some Biaxin at home that I can mix up to reconstitute and give Leigha as she was on that the last time for pneumonia after her diagnostic surgery in October. Just not sure that I want sick kids at Christmas:( Nothing sucks more than that really. Even this nasty cold snap that doesn't want to end:( -38 tomorrow morning:P And I have to go out too:( Not looking forward to that at all. Well maybe tomorrow will be okay I mean I do get to leave the house without kids and get some stuff done. Tho in my insanity I am headed to Costco:o Not sure it's the greatest idea but I do need groceries nefore Christmas day as I do not desire to go Boxing Day shopping for the things I haven't got:( Little things are fine but not a huge load;) Come friday it will all be done with and we will all look back and wonder what all the fuss was. One more week, One more week....wish me luck.