Welcome back???

All right I suck. I admit it. I have neglected to inform the bloggy world of anything in our house. And not because there is nothing happening, mainly because I am just too lazy to do it. All I want to do is sleep, 22 hours a day to leave room for the requisite food requirement and peeing of course.

But alas with 3 kids there is no way on God's green earth I can do that. They'd burn my house down around my ears or kill each other. But they are surprisingly resourceful if need be. Ryan is now capable, at the age of 4, to get cereal for himself and turn on the tv, which means I can lie in bed pretending that they aren't all awake and that I have to get up sooner rather than later. The added bonus to that is with Leigha and her feeding tube...she is confined to her bed until I go get her!!! So minimal fighting in the mornings!!!

I have made it to 32 weeks pregnant!! and haven't been up to much really. I went on a scrap retreat the last weekend of August and..( insert yelling from the girls) had contractions all weekend and cankles (made driving home fun :p). They haven't really let up much on both aspects so I have been "confined" to "resting". K so I have 3 other kids, one with medical issues, my doc knows this so the words "try" were very strongly put at my appointment on Tuesday. I just have to make it another 3 weeks and I've made it to the "safer" zone. I am feeling the desire to clean, cook and generally stock up so have had to plan my days so I am not on my feet a lot and have to pay for it, Neil is not good at the foot rub.

I still feel "good" in the happy sense that I can move freely without crying and am not getting embarrased trying to dress myself around the large lump in front. I am at the point where I can't even put on underwear without assistance. And Thank GOD this is "summer" (hahahaha, well not here but..) so I don't really need socks. With Leigha I actually stopped wearing them due to the fact that I could no longer reach my feet without falling over and Neil wouldn't help me without laughing...so not worth it. Considering it was winter for the bulk of the largeness portion of my pregnancy with her, no socks was not a brilliant idea but I worked with what I had.

Nathaniel is growing like a weed, 70Lbs now :o He is huge and eats more than Neil at meals. But again we are entering a growth spurt and have the wussy, cry at the drop of a hat kid on our hands. Karate/Jui Jitsu ( I have no clue what it's called) has helped with the self esteem issues and he asks daily when he's going again or when the next time is. Currently he is down 2 teeth over less than 3 days, courtesy of self managed care :) He wiggled those little things until he swallowed one ( too funny when Neil went to look for it and found not a trace, we think he was so excited that he forgot to spit it out and swallowed it instead). The second tooth almost followed the first but he caught it in time just to show Neil in the kitchen and drop it coming down the stairs to show me. We found that one but he was none the less very excited when the tooth fairy visited the next morning and left him 4 shiny new quarters for each tooth lost. I have a great picture of him smiling with no lower teeth :) He now has 4 more teeth in the pre stages of falling out, looks like wonderful Christmas photos are in store for us :)

We started Grade 1 this week and have had many new stories at the supper table. And on top of it, he's too pooped to fight with anyone!!! It has made bedtime all that much quieter.

Ryan is still hitting and temper tantrums but since starting him on Melatonin every night we have yet to see a drop in them and are starting to wonder if they are sleep related at all. Considering I am shorter on patience lately I don't think having 2 kids with big tempers is a really good idea right now.

On the "new" aspect of thing. I have managed to secure a contract for Leigha's Pediasure and thickener through downright obnoxiousness and being quite firm when dealing with our "worker". She has agreed to fund us through the government agency until December 31st where upon we must at that time provide our own private insurance and proof that Leigha has medical requirements for the products requested and that they are "medically neccessary". Now considering the kids doesn't eat much of anything by mouth that doesn't go down in liquid form I'm not sure how we can not prove that this is a neccessary thing. It is getting so bad at meals now that she actually chews the food up and then spits it out again without actually swallowing much of anything " me no like" is the usual comment associated with that...oh so lovely. And it really doesn't matter what I cook, it's always the same with re-constituted food being served back to me by some pigtailed kidlet. Very annoying.


Leigha has also recently begun with the terrible 2's temper tantrums. Very aggravating most days since she seems to think she doesn't need to nap anymore. So not a good thing for someone who would LOVE to nap daily :( I am finding the serenity somewhere and haven't sold her yet to anyone...GOD give me strength.

But we are now almost 1 week with no bottles!! none at nap time (well , when I'd want her to nap) and nothing for bed. So I've only been waking up with her about twice a night this week so far to un-tangle her tube and settle her again. She asks for one everytime but is being told that the bottles are for baby now. I actually had to throw them all out because of the Pediasure smell they all had. I give whole credit to my sister who had the kids over the weekend while I was scrappin, she's the one who actually did it. No battles really this far. One bad start of night (Monday) but with a door cracked open she has settled fine all by herself!

Crap! I'll be back later they threw popcorn all over the toy room!!!

Sometimes I Wish

I've been thinking lately that I could lock my blog. You know the blog I wrote last week about the friends? Well the #2 commented. I figured she would. Well She said all the things I knew she would and I replied by email to her. Told her this was my space to work things out in my head. And if she didn't like it well then don't read it. I'm not going to try and fix something I don't think can be fixed. Or more to the point don't want to fix anymore. I think it is a toxic relationship on both our parts. We are not going to make it work. Things were said that can't be unsaid and I'm done with it all. I'm not going to tender foot around it all for the next ten years and pretend that it is all okay. I won't for the sake of my family. And more importantly myself. I was probably a little hot headed when I replied to it an should have waited for Neil to read it, but I think it's time to just let it go. And if she doesn't like what I write here then...DON"T READ IT!!! Maybe it's time for me to become a new me. Someone who doesn't need to make others happy first??? No that's not really me. But I do need to make me come first and the health of my family too.

Regarding Friends

So I've given it some thought since last night. That and I've spoken to my sister which always gives me another perspective on things. About friend number two....when it comes to the whole suicide thing. It really is none of my business what happened to her or what choices she made in her life. Those were her choices to make and thus they have nothing to do with me and I shouldn't make them any concern of mine. I was making it too personal and making it about me which I shouldn't have done. It wasn't fair to her and thus I think it clouded my thoughts at the time. I shouldn't have taken something that was about her and internalized it. I think maybe I am basing it on the fact that I truly am regretting choosing her as Nathaniel's Godmother in that she just doesn't want to be a part of his life in any component of it. He is now 4 and a half years old and in the past year she has seen him twice. Wikipedia defines a Godparent as: Traditionally, the godparents were counted informally responsible for ensuring that the child's religious education was carried out and for caring for the child should he/she be orphaned. Today the word "godparent" may not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development . As a Godparent I believe you are to be a model for a child, someone to look up to and guide them through life. Be someone they can look up to and trust. Someone to help them through life's challenges that they can turn to when they can't stand their parents;) I remember the day of Nathaniel's baptism (it was my 24th birthday too) it was so surreal standing up in the front of the church listening to the words of our minister, the same man that married us, did Neil's first Holy Communion. It was very special to us. Makes me wonder if it felt the same to her at the time and what made it all change. Maybe it's because I don't feel I can trust her myself that I feel these regrets. I have a hope that in the future we can move forward and put whatever was said or unsaid behind us and move on. I know we may never have the same level of trust again but then do you ever after feelings have been hurt?

Completely Overwhelmed and Overly Depressed

That describes what I am. I have to finally admit it I guess. With no end in sight with the blasted bank fiasco, and Christmas fast approaching I am finding myself looking up from the bottom of a deep never ending fall. Almost like in Alice in Wonderland when she falls through the looking glass (that's in the book tho). I am being pulled into so many different directions that I feel like I can't see the end. I'm not sure there will be one. My sister told me last week that my Blog was "depressing". I tried to make it upbeat but it's kinda hard when there is so much going on and not enough of me to go around. And no one really that understands. The boys are fighting all the time because they are bored, Leigha is suffering a relapse and it has all taken a toll. I have no idea how mother's of chronically ill kids manage. I don't even have the energy to go out and grocery shop, and lord knows we need the groceries badly. I just need the time to vent and bitch and moan and for one thing to FINALLY GO RIGHT for once. The saying "when it rains it snows" seems to have too much meaning right now. I would really prefer spring because maybe then all this would be resolved and I would have answers to my long list of questions and wouldn't have to type it out into cyberspace to get someone to understand. Although it helps me to think and put things into perspective I find it hard to really impress upon anyone what I am feeling. It's just shouting "therapy" at me now. Maybe I need that too. I'll pencil it in somewhere, after the boys, before Leigha, before Neil, before work...... Work now looms ahead and I wonder how to fit all that in too. Three kids, Neil and somewhere in all that me. Is it too late to ask for a time extension? I don't want to go back to the Glenrose, I hated it there. And all I can see before me is a lot of calls into them saying I can't work due to Leigha's appointments. That doesn't look good on a referral from them, calling in too many times due to sick days. But what do we do about the fact that we need the money? Come April 3/09 the government cuts me off and then what? I can't afford to put the kids into a day home/day care that's almost $1200/mo just them and you can't get part time spots. I can't take advantage of friends/family as they have their own lives and responsibilities and can't be watching my kids. The clinic wants me for January and so far I have yet to solve the kid issue. I hate not being able to work as I feel that I NEED to get out. But how when I get slammed at every turn in the road. Why does all this need to get so complicated? Why isn't there ever a plain and simple answer? Maybe I'm asking too much of myself. Not that we have too many options out there but somewhere there has to be one. I'll remain optimistic, maybe it will all work out eventually. But I am feeling like the walls are closing in and there are no answers anymore no matter how hard I look for them.

Kill the Computer,and Other updates

I'm going to blow my computer up. I have spent the last three days trying to upload new pictures of the kids..ones that I had done a few weekends ago at the house. They came in the mail I uploaded them onto the computer and now they refuse to cooperate and upload to my blog so that everyone can enjoy them:( I am not impressed. That and every time I navigate to another web page I get an error warning about some sort of navigation error about a security issue??? I am getting the idea that we may have a firewall issue but according to our antivirus protection all is good??? So not getting it anymore. I think it is time to trade in the computer for a younger model:( Someone slim and smooth, faster talker and much better looking. I admit I am a lush when it comes to new products and anything that will be better than this dinosaur would be an improvement.

Onto better things...update on the banking stuff. Still no sign of Neil's cheque yet. We are at almost Thursday now and we have heard not a peep from our lender since Tuesday when she said "I'm not sure what we can do but no we can't do anything yet" what does that mean??? No clue. I hasn't been bounced back to the office yet and we haven't had it deposited into our account. So on the good news that means they can't take the mortgage out yet and that means we can't have no money if we have...no money:) On the other side I have solidified a mortgage broker who is determined to find us a new bank and get us out of our bank and into a new mortgage and out of this mess so I have done all the initial paper work and we have the ball rolling so we should know by Friday the payout amount and what we will be looking at when it comes down to the end result of it all. I just hope it all ends soon. I still have no clue where my CTC (child tax credit) is as they don't have our new address yet and all I got was a busy signal today..all day:( Tomorrow is another day:)

Tomorrow too is busy, the city is coming to rooter our lines to make sure we don't have roots gumming up the works. The neighbours had a 60% blockage in theirs so we either have nothing or everything so we shall see tomorrow. They will be here at 900am, I have to be at the Chiro at 11 and then at Chips by 1230 for Creative Kitchens so we can pick out our meals to be cooked on Friday. It never ends does it??

Today Leigha had her appointment at the Stollery with Dr Majaesic- the lung Specialist (Pulmonologist) so in short they discovered that she is a poor sleeper, poor eater...we already knew all this. Turns blue while she sleeps on her back or cries to hard, maybe due to a shunt in her heart that should have closed when she was born...commonly called an AV shunt. So we see a Cardiologist in January to rule this out. The story is that when Leigha cries she essentially bears down so hard that she forces the shunt to close blocking red blood cells, the ones that carry oxygen through the body, thus turning her blue and causing her breath holding spells as they are now. This of course doesn't fully explain why it hasn't closed but...one thing at a time. So then the looked at why she doesn't sleep and eat well. So we covered the Laryngeal cleft, So I found a picture finally after Googling it repeatedly, the repair was done on the left side of the picture above the part where it branches into two parts, one goes into a bulb (not what Leigha had) and one into the lungs, so the ribbed thingy. Leigha had a collagen injection into a muscle that supports the ribbed muscle and the muscle that has the bulb on it. It is a muscle that goes in between the two. Get it a bit better now???

So where was I?? right, so now we get to the fun part her digestion. So we have dealt with part of the feeding issue last week when we had the laryngeal repair done. She is improving slowly, this is better than before so we are happy with what have. So now we are being asked about her other "digestion" (you get my meaning right?) so I go into it more and they start asking me more leading questions. Now I'm not stupid by any long shot so I cut to the chase and asked the Intern what she was wanting to know specifically testing wise?? She wanted to know is Leigha had ever been sweated before. I had to say no as I had never heard of a doctor doing it at least not one that wasn't a natural pathic one. Now I only knew of one specific disease that sweat testing was used for and I'm not sure why again Cystic Fibrosis was coming up. It's not the first time we had been asked this. I had when I had Nathaniel and had undergone all those difficult spinal procedures and had the very odd reactions to them and then when Leigha had first begun all these tests. Now again specialists are asking about it??? Leads me to wonder again why. So I am providing the links to let everyone make their own guesses. I am making everyone as informed about this as I am maybe we can find the common link somewhere. So now we are on the same page again, wondering what the heck is going on and why. So Missy is being scheduled for a complete GI work up to see how her digestion works from start to finish, a 24hr sleep study in hospital. I think that may be the most difficult as I do believe we may have to leave her there overnight alone:( Plus the cardiologist, Allergist and any other gist they can think of. We have our pediatrician follow-up on Monday to discuss what has happened since last week an be all on the same page so hopefully we can move forward with this and give it a name.

I just would like an answer once and for all, but I've said it before haven't I?? Oh well. Wish us luck and do some heavy praying for us. With everything going on here when it rains it pours. But since the rooter guys are coming maybe I shouldn't say that too loud??

I am too...

Carmen is having "One of 'Those' Days" and so am I. I am at a loss. You know those friendships that weigh on the back of your mind?? Ones that you know aren't healthy for you but you have no way of severing the tie? I have two of them. Friendships that I know have nothing to do with me and all to do with them. People who are not involved in the life of my family at all and we have very limited impact on theirs as well. I know it takes two to have a good relationship and I know that I probably could do more to mend the ties but there comes a point in time when you just have to walk away... I think I am there. Leigha had her surgery on Monday. And it's funny, the people who have the least contact with us, my some what estranged aunt, my grandmother, Carmen, friends that I have only had for a few years/months/days, were all lending support to my family, praying for us, asking how they could help. But those that have been "friends" and I use the term loosely, people that are supposed to be very important to us, people who we had chosen to be Godparents to our children, guardians...well nothing. No support, no contact. I know that part of that is my fault. I can be a cold, stand offish person at times and can be guarded, but honestly is it worth all this extra effort to make people happy?? With all the things that have happened in my life over the past lets say year. I think honestly only about 5 people actually know the truth. And those 5 are the ones that should know the truth. The others may know part, and then....maybe not. I know most of the people who read my blog and I know that this "rant" will probably cause "issues", but really, I am 28 years old and tired of playing the "game". I need to clean the closet of my life and simplify things and I believe that this may be the beginning of that cleaning process. Carmen asked if anyone could use an elf:) I could I wish I had someone with me to have the guts to say to people what only passes on paper or through my head. I am one of those who believes that you should tell those things to someones face. Not that I should be giving advice or anything. I am choosing a new career path, a new life path and a new future and I think that this is only the first step in getting there. Now if I can only grow the balls to do it.....Is anyone out there???It's me Meghan.....

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I know I lifted the title but somehow it seems to fit the day. It started out not so bad. The phone rang....at 815am I had received a text message from a Rodger's wireless client, did I want to accept the message, well yes I did as now I am curious as to who in their right mind would call at 815 in the morning. "are you in school?" came the dis-located voice on the line, you know that computer woman that does the 411 thingy. Kay no clue, no I am not in school, I was sleeping but now I am awake wondering who the heck woke me up for no good reason. The I hear the worst noise ever, the sound of feet hitting the hardwood and a door opening and closing and the bathroom cupboard opening and closing, I close my eyes and pray....nope it doesn't work. I opened them up and Ryan was standing at my bedside with the toothpaste, yep again, never fails. The phone woke him up, at what stage do they begin to sleep in and I will be the one up at 815 wondering when they will get their butts out of bed??? We head downstairs and I make him cereal and juice turn on the TV and head back up to my bed... short lived I know but a girl can dream. I'm still not sure why I really got up, perhaps it was the seven loads of unfolded laundry on the table in baskets collecting wrinkles or the yet to be done pile in the baskets that called me from the landing. To this moment I will never know:( I got up, brushed my teeth and poked myself in the eye, yes this was going to be a great day. Albeit I was trying to put my contacts in but I still managed to hurt myself in the process, if we could only rob a bank, I'll add it to the list # 5,000 or so. I stripped the bed to forgo any further thoughts of returning to the comfort of the bed and proceeded to strip Ryan's and the towels from both the bathrooms, tidying as I went, mentally preparing for the day..If I only knew what was to come. Only 830am now man I'm good:) I heard Nathaniel stirring so in I went and pulled out clothes for him the bed was pulled apart, looked like he had wrestled with an alligator overnight...sigh...add it to the list. Then I remembered today I had to drop off the van to get the windshield replaced, crap now what???? I have to get the kids there and back and somehow drop the van off? How in the heck can I do that by myself? I called next door, no answer...man this is not my day, I should have called yesterday but...life is full of buts mine included. Next plan, no idea. The laundry was still piled high and now the van and it was 900am, and it had to be there by 1100am I was in for trouble with a capital T so I called Neil and also sent a message to the surprise text that had called at 815: "you sent me a text to my home number, do I know you??" Meg...the reply I got..."I don't know you"...so I said"then please don't send any more texts to my home number, thanks" Very polite I thought. I had the ball and I was running with it. 1030 and Neil had the van organised mom was coming to get it and would drop it off at the windshield place for 1100am:) Hooray I am good:) Or so I thought...... All was well until about 1230, I was almost done the laundry, was down to the last load of folding, the boys were playing what I thought was quietly downstairs. Until Nathaniel came upstairs..he had this unusual orange stain on the shoulder of his shirt looked like he had been chewing on it. I asked him what was on his shirt, he replied "your candies" I asked him what candies, and he said the ones downstairs, now this got me curious as we had no Orange candies, so I asked him to show me the candies, he took me downstairs and led me around, finally he showed me an empty bottle of...Advil...My heart stopped. It seems that Ryan had got the child lid off the bottle and the twits had been sucking the enteric coating off of them. They had also chewed a few of them a bit but it looked like they had spit them out. I immediately hauled them upstairs and stuck my fingers down theirs throats and made them puke it up...Thank GOD nothing came up, it seems that they hadn't actually swallowed any of them as Nathaniel told me...after I had stuck my fingers down their throats... It's lucky I didn't wrap my hands around them and throttle them...They are going to send my 6feet under today. At 1245 I went to wake Leigha up Canadian Baby Photographers was coming to take photos of her so I chose her outfit went in and found her crying, seems in my absence of trying to track down the wayward Advil Nathaniel had scared her and made her cry...Perfect red eyes for pictures. So I get her downstairs, cram her into the too large tights I have for her...then she poops....man...off they come, change her back into the tights..then Abby growls, open door and there is Don. Nice man who once inside is very friendly and the boys warm up to him and Leigha is all smiles. So they visit and I make the boys lunch, and then the plan goes to pot. As I go to get the outfit that Leigha is going to wear off the hanger I put her onto the chair that I am standing in front of. So she sits there, and i am looking at the hanger with the dress, and then she is screaming, seems the goof has tipped off the chair and fallen off it onto her head, so I grabbed her by the ankle and hauled her up, screaming. So not a good moment. Now I have a screaming Leigha and the boys come covered in PBJ, great. But onward and upward. Onto the table she goes in her outfit, runny nose and tears, mopping it up as we go, but Don gt some great smiles...and then the knock on the door....NOW WHAT The shaw guy is here..WTF...anyone else want to come over???? as if I needed anyone else to join in on the party, the guy is here to fix the cable box in the living room. Man it's like a circus here. I direct him give him a brief overview of what I think is the issue and leave him to his fun. HA take that. So at the end of it all Leigha and Don were all smiles and drool, turns out he got some great photos of her. And the shaw guy, switched out our HD box upstairs and we shall see if the problems are fixed later on tonight. The boys so far have no ill effects after the Advil incident and when Neil gets home tonight he will be installing magnetic child safety locks on all cabinets in our home now that Mr Destructo (Ryan) can get into the child safety things as well. And as for me I think I need a stiff drink and a bubble bath after such a trying day. But the laundry is done all washed, dried and put away for today, none of the beds are made mind you, but hey, I still have the rest of today:) And everything I did have planned for today got thrown out the window when the phone rang at 815 this morning. Note to self next time turn the ringer off:)

Pots, Pots my Kingdom for a Pot

Kay so I have to admit I have mildly become obsessed with pots of late. I know an odd obsession. But before I had Leigha I had noticed I didn't have enough of them. So I thought I'd start to look into buying some. Conveniently the Sears wish book ended up on my porch. I flipped through the book and flagged a few pages liking a few of the sets. And then Peggy had a Princess house party... and I became enamoured with a few of their pots...huge mother sized pots with pretty embossed lids and lovely removable sieve inserts of every imaginable size...I was in heaven. So I ordered not one, not two...but....three:) Yes a bit over board but you have to understand how I cook. When I go to cook something I don't just make enough for tonight's meal, I make enough for Neil for tomorrows lunch and some for at least two freezer meals and if I'm really lucky then I get at least three freezer meals out of it! Yes I need help but sadly I don't think they make chefs anonymous:(

I did ask for two new cookbooks for Christmas:

The Traditional Betty Crocker Cookbook a must have for every cook in the kitchen or so I have heard.

And then there is the Sandi Richard: Cooking for the Rushed Cookbook that provides a complete shopping list for most of the recipes. I really liked that idea as I am looking into the whole idea of trying to meal plan for the week and hopefully get out of the problem of not knowing what to cook at the end of day by having the meals planned out Sundays. Carmen does this as well as a few of my other friends, seems to work well for them:)

And just to throw the whole world for a loop I even asked for a sewing machine:0 I know what a funny thing for me to ask for. People all over the blog community are falling off their chairs in sudden apoplexies of shock and amazement. I thought with the fact that I now have Leigha I could at least make a small attempt at making a dress or other small thing and they do make Halloween costumes that are relatively easy as well. So who knows I may become crafty yet:) Stranger things have happened. I know I scrapbook but to me that is not a craft it comes easy to me and seems to be an outlet, now sewing may be my death so we shall see. At least I won't have to pay to hem Neil's pants anymore. I know I can sew a button on but since that is the least of my claims to sewing fame I may be hooped. I did get thrown out of sewing in grade 10 so we may be in for some laughs in the end:) I shall keep you all informed of the hilarity to come.

A Sad Day:(

I just received some very sad news but first let me catch you up. I have been scrapbooking for about 5 years now with a group of some amazing women that have become friends. My one friend Jen and I have become great friends and have attended many a weekend scrapbooking retreat together. Staying up late at night drinking rum and Fresca (trust me it's really good). Jen is an amazing girl she has 4 kids, her oldest is 13, the youngest is 5:) And ALL of them are soooo cute. SO to move on..on Carmen and Erin's blogs they were talking about the Children's Q107 Caring For Kids Radiothon in Calgary, how they are doing a radiothon to raise money for the Calgary children's hospital. So where is this going you may ask? Well the other night at my monthly scrap workshop club Jen was commenting how her youngest son had been feeling sick for the past few weeks, flu like symptoms. Now we are talking about a normally rambunctious kid, can't tie him down usually. Now he was complaining and crying when he had to walk somewhere or go outside to play at recess. He had lost weight, won't eat, lethargic. Not himself, sleeping all the time. So she was going to take him into the doctors yesterday to have him checked out. All day yesterday we were all crossing our fingers that it was just a bug, the flu or a cold, mono at worst as he has older siblings. I got a call from Donna a friend of ours at 230 this afternoon I guess our poor little man, our little rambunctious 5 year old has lukemia. He is now at the Stollery hospital in Edmonton on the Oncology unit being given chemotherapy. This on the anniversary of another loss of another small child to the same critical disease. A horrible disease. Please keep them in your prayers tonight.

Okay I'm Done Playing Now:)

So Everyday you are supposed to learn something new, and I admit not everyday do I accomplish this task. But today I must admit the computer has not beat me:) I managed to put something new onto my Blog. I am so proud of myself. I know such a small minuscule thing but hey I don't get out much:) Okay enough junk and onto random things of the week. Today I set out with the task of renewing my passport. Last week after one of Leigha's numerous appointments I had tried to go into Service Canada to renew said Passport only to be told that they were unable to do so due to "lack of staff". Well "la de dah" as my husbands aunt is so fond of saying this week. So in my anger I left said Canada government office with screaming kid in tow, as I had to wake her from the nap that she had just fallen into having cried herself to sleep moments before and proceed to tirade myself to Neil. Thank goodness he is a good listener. SO today having mentally prepared myself to spend the day at Canada place downtown I was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed by a very nice woman at Service Canada who not only asked how my day was going but if there was anything else that I needed to have done that day as well:) I was in a bit of shock I must say. The government being nice??? I am confused??? I renewed my passport and it shall arrive on November 18th with a horrid picture of me inside just in time for me to leave for my trip with Neil in January:) I was then able to head down the hall to get Ryan and Leigha's social insurance numbers as you are no longer able to do them online or fill the forms in and mail them which I can honestly say is a pain. Again I was met by very nice people that work for the government, I was beginning to think I was being set up or followed by a camera. So that being done I was at a loss, now what to do with the rest of the day?? I had a sitter for the day and had nothing to do with it?? I went shopping like any sane person would do:) I ended up buying a snowsuit for Ryan and socks for Nathaniel that turned out to have one pair missing from the package?? So I paid for 6and only got 5 what a rip off, so not impressed. I also was able to get some halloween make-up for next year at a really good price and I hope by then it will not turn the kids some wired color:0 I also got my eyebrows waxed so I look semi normal. The life of a stay at home mom....so glamorous:) Once I got home the same old tho I had laundry, what to cook for dinner??? Neil saved me tho he opted to have me take out some buffalo and he made burgers when he got home:) Very nice not to have to cook again. I cleaned the oven tonight and managed to get all the kids into bed with minimal screaming and only one big fight when Ryan tried to bite Nathaniel for reason other than he was very tired. So I sit here thinking about going to bed but enjoying the silence of a quiet house as Neil is out reffing and the dog is sleeping with the kids. Peace for a little while, I'll enjoy it while it lasts:) Until later.....

Okay I Retract My Prior Statement

So I owe Neil an apology. Sure it took him...lets count, almost 6 months to call the guy but today he actually did it. I no sooner posted my blog today and went upstairs and called him when the most miraculous thing happened, he asked me where the number was for the window guy:) I of course asked him what he did with the paper I had given him, but then said that it should be in his wallet. Lo and behold it was and then the next thing I knew a date had been set for Chuck the window guy to do the trim on the windows:) This Saturday 10am:) I am so excited. Leigha may yet get her nursery before she is 2. The most perfect thing is I am out getting my hair done that morning so am gone for all the messy bit and will come home to the clean new window trim and can then plan and price out the kids rooms and hopefully finish them before Christmas:) Hooray:) On a separate note Nathaniel and Ryan got their surgery date today for their tonsils and Ryan will also have his adenoids out as well as having a bronchoscopy done to check for the same defect that Leigha has in his throat. This will be done on December 18th one lovely week before Christmas:) Aren't we lucky???? We have only been waiting since February for Nathaniel and May for Ryan so persistence helps I suppose. I started calling Dr El-Hakim's office last week as the office "nurse" Rose knew who I was because Leigha was in there so much over the past two months. It helps to be remembered sometimes:) So hopefully they do well and are back on their feet before Christmas hits. So that should keep us busy with them both in there together one after the other. I already told Neil he has to take the day off work as I am not doing it alone with both in at the same time. So until tomorrow. TTYL

Have You Ever Noticed??

Have you ever noticed how women manage to get it all done but when you ask the "man" to do it somehow it never really gets done?? They do however come up with really inventive excuses on why it isn't tho:) I know we ask for it in some small way but really why, it's not like it's a difficult task. Get to the point you are saying....I asked Neil to do one task..call the window guy to come finnish the trim work on the window, this was after I had asked him in oh about June to go buy the stuff to put into the window for Chuck to put in for us. It is now one day before the end of October and still no window guy here to do my trim work and I already went out and bought the stuff with three kids in tow..let me tell you that was fun( imagine me crossing my eyes now:P) The boys got into everything they could at home hardware. Thank goodness it was lunch time and not too busy. I have called him and asked him to call the guy and set up at time to have him come and do it, Chuck volunteered to do it. Sigh, I give up. Neil's excuses are and I quote: "you always call when I'm up a ladder", or " I was up a boom lift and when I came down I forgot to call" or, " Jerry called just after you did and I forgot". I honestly get tired of doing all the calling so I figured he could do one small phone call??? Maybe I'm asking too much??? I really wanted a nursery for my daughter and now she is 7 months old and still no nursery...at this rate I may as well have a little girls room for her:( If I knew how to do the trim I would do it myself. That and I have no idea what he did with the phone number or I would call Chuck and arrange a time instead:( Save me from my procrastinating husband:(

Mornings...I don't do Mornings

Today I feel like I have been yelling forever at the boys. I awoke with my head the size of a football to the sound of Ryan in the bathroom playing with the tube of toothpaste. I pulled myself out of the warmth of my bed and groggily found myself staring foggily ( I didn't have my glasses on) at the fuzzy face of my middle son with a very blue face. It seems that my son in his infinite wisdom had painted himself with toothpaste. Hey why use it for teeth when you can use it for make-up?? It seems that everyday he decides to eat it instead of brushing his teeth anyway:P So I washed Ryan's face and told him to "stay out of the bathroom, it's not for playing in" and returned him to his bed as it was far to early to be awake according to me. I mean who in their right mind is up at 730??? I know I was up but I still needed to wake up and the bed is so much warmer for that:) So back to bed I went to listen to Ryan talk to his moosies and as I listened to my son talk to his moosies I heard smidget...sigh....now I had to get up.....all right up I get. By now Ryan had heard Leigha and had reappeared at my bedside to tell me that Leigha was awake..don't you just love how they do that?? Tell them to do one thing to have them do the complete opposite:) Up now to greet the day:) It seemed like I was no sooner up and I began to yell at the boys, Ryan proceeded to then go into Nathaniel's room to "see" if he was awake. Now Ryan is 2 so "seeing" is a moot point. More to the fact he was going in to wake Nathaniel up. The fight began. I broke it up, separated them into their respective corners, got clothing out and proceeded to dress the younger two. Now step two, brush teeth, Ryan having brushed everything but his teeth got to do his finally, and I even found places on his face that I had missed when I washed the "make-up" off. Note to self: wear glasses next time son is up to mischief. Next task of the day and next fight, breakfast....who wants what and what chair and what cup and on and on.......and so here I sit at 4pm on a tuesday afternoon having called my husband and asked the question...."are you coming home now??" and I haven't even got to the problem of what to make for dinner and the whole day is tossed:( What kind of stay at home mom am I? I am just at a loss for the day. I need to go back to bed and start again...sigh in another life maybe. Oh well tomorrow is another day and another start maybe it will be better??? I'll keep you posted:)

There and Back Again

I've seen a miracle today:) Truly experienced something that I have never thought that I could have grown so much from. Today I had the gift of being with my best friend during the delivery of her baby. I have never in my life felt to close to someone. Having had three children of my own I have never seen such strength as I did today. I am in awe of Caughleigh and am not sure of just how to express the words to tell how I feel. To have shared this experience with her and Ron I feel so blessed:) And to see baby Jake enter this world was an experience I will cherish forever, and is probably why I can't sleep at 4am, that and Caughleigh is probably also awake:) It's funny, we grew up across the country from each other, met by chance and have become like sisters so much so that we have been asked how far apart in age we are from each other. Even today the nurses assumed I was her sister:) It happens all the time. We can be thinking of each other and one of us calls, or like tonight, one of us is awake and thinking of the other and the next day when we talk we discover the other was awake as well wondering about the other. I truly believe some friendships are meant to be as ours is. We are the other half of each other, sisters of the heart:) When you read this Caughleigh, as I know you will, thank you for sharing your day with me. You will never know how much it meant to me to be able to be with you. You have a strength in you that I only wish I had. You are my sister and always will be. I love you and am so proud of you.

Today's the Day :)

I got thinking of the song "today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic" I need to get out more:0 So got a letter in the mail the other day about yet another appointment for Missy Leigha, the lung specialist is booked for November 26th at 11am so providing all goes well for surgery then we see Dr Majaesic that morning at the Stollery yet again:0 So Caughleigh is in the hospital hooked up to the IV awaiting the baby to finally arrive and grace us with it's presence, I'm going up to see her this afternoon:) I am a bit excited having the chance to experience it from the other side of things. Not that I enjoy seeing my best friend in pain but she was with me during my fight so I will go through with her:) That's love I tell you, and it gets me out of tonight:) I know I'm such a bag:0 Other than that nothing much is to happen today I have rearranged my entire day on the happen chance of this baby arriving yesterday and hadn't planned on much past that:) So I shall keep you all posted. Check my facebook for new pics of the kids, and I'll get some new ones up on here of Thanksgiving eventually or of something new:) Have a good weekend.

I think I need a Holiday???

I hate laundry:0 Yes I know many a woman has said that over the centuries, but I really hate laundry. It may be that I am slightly anal about the way I fold mine to the point that if someone out of the kindness of their hearts- my mother-in-law, my mom, my beautiful neighbour Cindy, even my husband:) fold my laundry I inevitably go back and re-fold it all in the end before I can put it away in the right spot. I know I really should back off and note that really once it is away in the drawer no one sees it but me, but I know it's there and I know it's not right. It will drive me loopier ( I know it's not a word, work with me here) knowing that I should go and fix it. It's almost as bad as when I go and put Neil's shirts away in his top drawer of his dresser. See we have to share the dresser, as we don't have the room for two in our bedroom and I really have no idea where we would put one if we did and it really would just mean more clothes and more clutter- I hate clutter. He has this thing, he can't just pull a shirt out of the drawer without disturbing the whole drawer, you know pulling the whole thing apart and messing it up so that when I go to put his shirts away I have to literally go fold all the shirts in the drawer prior to putting the newly cleaned ones into it...maybe he does it to make me insane???? I think I need a holiday??? I am a bit on edge of late and think that a break may be just what is needed. I don't know:( I am reading Carmen's blog and hearing her concerns and feeling for her. Not knowing how to convey my thoughts to her about how I wish I could just wrap her up in my arms and give her a big hug and say "keep on with your goals and tell the rest of them to mind their own business". Then I have this big obligation looming ahead of me and am dreading it with my whole being and wishing I didn't have to go and not knowing how to back out without being the bad guy. I am feeling a bit low right now and feel a bit like the song " nobody likes me I think I'll go eat worms" tho I know that's not true and I know it's only stress talking and all will be better come tomorrow and a good nights sleep. I wish I could just curl up in a ball and hiberbnate until spring and then all my problems could have had a chance to marinate for a bit maybe then I would have some better answers???